Day 2: To all the hills I've loved

New Yorkers would like this place.

Its familiar in a way that I haven't found in any other city. Once you acclimate to the particular weirdness of its residence, it's own spin on the "outdoor bathroom" aroma, and the highly specific weather, San Francisco is a wonderful place to explore.

It's for these initial reasons that most California bound vacationers will avoid the city, and truth be told I would too if I didnt have family here. Spring break is a time to get out of the home and into the sunlight, STAT! Maybe rocking a sweatshirt is what most of us are trying to avoid. Just know that you're missing out on the good stuff.

Yes, there were a ton of gnats! Good catch.

By good stuff I mean this hill. With a nice view, of course. The spot has a name, which i forget and didnt write down, further evidence that this whole blog is unsponsored, loosely structured scribble with the sole purpose to prove to my parents I'm alive and my grandparents that I can be in San Francisco and still date a woman.

It was the first of many stops on our second day, and once we snagged another Uber Selfie it was time to hit Fisherman's Wharf, tourist attraction extraordinaire. Like most of our visits during the day, we were efficient in how we saw the wharf. We walked no more than a fifth of it when we stumbled into an antique arcade. I could easily look up the name of this place.

If you look at her right eye this becomes a selfie

Then we stopped at a restaurant. I actually remember the name, but won't bring it up on purpose. If they ain't coughing up the big bucks, I'm not coughing up the endorsement. That's the way I roll. Speaking of roll, I had a crab roll. Afterwards, I was ready to keep going, like a mule. Speaking of mule, I had a Moscow mule. Why do I still need a dayjob?

Ash drinking what the British just call a "Mary"

It was a great lunch. One of those lunches where everyone sets high expectations and then they are actually met. It was the kind of lunch where at four separate times you take your "last bite" of the meal, lean back, rub your belly, belch so loud the couple next to you stops talking, and you say "man this food is very yummy." Its the kind of lunch where you use the last French fry to scoop up the last of the tarter sauce, after which you burp again, and the couple next to you decides they need to take a break for a while. One of those lunches.

After such a feast it was time to work off the calories, so what better time to knock off renting bikes from the old agenda. We rented bikes, rode them for an hour, it was amazing. I'd love to say more but like, they were bikes. If you cant imagine how that is then I'm really not going to get you there. We all know I'm not a good enough writer for that, not like.... Jack frost. I guess. He could really get you in the headspace of bikes, right, but not me. All I got was a few sick pictures of my dank ass rented bicycle.

Suck it, poetry

We get back to home base around, what, three? Two thirty? I'm asking you like you know.

We chilled for a bit before heading to another park, this one more popular and definitely something I should mention now, since it sounds like I'm just making this all up at this point. Either way, name checked or not, this park was absolutely popping. It felt like a festival lawn but with no music or entertainment anywhere except for the groups of young people drinking IPAs. At first glance it felt similar to the 4/20 festival, an overhyped outdoor gathering with too much wind, too much degeneracy, and ironically not enough green (grass) in sight. Once we found our little patch and settled in, though, the whole experience was a delight. The people watching was incredible, there was a dancing robot for Jimmy cricket's sake! Not only that, but since every park is a dog park in San Fran, every thirty seconds was another canine playtime. It was a 2 beer type of vibe, a surprisingly low level of delinquency or bad behavior, and the sheer diversity of folks enjoying the same day really made it a liberal's dream come true.

And nobody here was threateningly attractive. Underrated feature.

We must have been there for three hours before the strawberries ran dry and the beers grew warm. It was a beautiful sun and constant cool breeze, apparently common in this area and something I could definitely get used to. Once the sun begins to set and the fog rolls in, that's when you gotta make moves. And so we did, over to the only place I can remember, Twin Peaks. It was a nice view. I forgot to take a picture.

Anyway, back to that park, heres the robot I was talking about

Looks fun till you hear the song. "My heart will go on" by Celine Dion

After the nice sunset view we walked more, downhill, straight to dinner. Chinese place, not bad at all. Apparently well known, but who cares right? I got sweet and sour pork. I didnt take pictures of itsince my phone had no more storage, mostly on account of the 3-hour video I took of that robot dancing.

Once dinner ended it was home and bedtime.. woohoo! I got through another day!! Honestly my day 3 is starting to get behind schedule so I gotta wrap this puppy up without a single overarching narrative ever getting established, no rising action or character development, and zero nudes. What the hell am I even doing this for.

Anyway, mom and dad, I'm still alive. Dont call me.

Photo dump again!